reinvention

After having worked for almost three months as a geek at my new workplace, I am somewhat regretting my pursuit of geekhood, as well as developing a strong dislike for certain types of geeks.

Had some tension the first few weeks at my new job, being mainly with boys (and boy geeks at that) — sometimes felt like a lot of macho things going on, and a lot of challenging about what you can really do, man. Maybe its just the way boy geeks adjust to each other.

The Boss Geek wants to sack me; he didn’t want me hired in the first place as he wanted the firm to hire someone else (with a PhD in computer science or something) — the Boss Geek is not my employer (he and his firm are contracted by our company) but is the “Technical Lead” for the project so he has clout. From the start, he’s dismissed my suggestions, consistently nitpicked or fault-found my work, and has sent me insulting emails.

While tensions with the boys at work were resolved reasonably quickly, attacks on me from the Boss Geek continue. I’m getting really angry and stressed with this stupidity. He’s decided that my skills are not “aligned” with project needs, and he’s asked the big boss (managing director of the firm) to sack me. I’ve had bosses like the Boss Geek before; they’re a pain, getting off on giving their workers a hard time. I think they’re disturbed (emotionally, psychologically), or maladjusted, or just plain mean.

Diday , my wife, told me tonight: “welcome to the real geek world.” I was sheltered working at Octa4/ICA because Felino Molina, my boss there, is an exceptional leader and mentor. He is a geek himself (programmer, engineer, physics whiz, etc.) but a really happy and generous one. Maybe I expected other geeks to be the same. Wrong.

I’ve been telling my friends in the arts these past weeks that I might as well return to working in the arts because the stuff I grew tired of in the arts — intrigue, back-stabbing, etc. — was there too in the geek world (as highlighted by my recent experience).

I also sometimes wonder why I want to learn all this geek sh*t, for what purpose? I thought I’d go for geekhood to gain knowledge and skills that I can someday use for more socially useful projects. The project I’m involved with at the moment is somewhat interesting technically (especially as it involves technologies I’m not familiar with) but I’m not learning a great deal of new technical stuff anyway (as the Boss Geek has relegated me to things he thinks are all I know about, like making web pages) so I’m not getting much personal and professional development, just a lot of negative vibes and personal/professional attacks.

I still have a geek job but I don’t know for how long. If I lose this job I don’t know if I can get another geek job or if I would want one anyway. I’ve learned a lot these past years of trying for geekhood; a lot of the stuff I’ve learned can be useful in any other area of work I join, I think.

Might be time for another sea change.