reinvention

My father, Andres Miranda Ramilo, died tonight.

At about 9:45 PM, Darwin time, my younger sister Ling called to say that he was gone.

I am deeply sad that he is gone, but not surprised. Two weeks ago he was confined at Veterans Hospital because he weakend considerably. After a week there, and some tests, he went home on a new regime of treatment which we hoped would improve his condition. Last week, he was taken to the Delgado Clinic near our home because he had difficulty breathing; he was sent home with oxygen tanks and breathing apparatus to help him breathe better. When I learned of the oxygen tanks, I was worried that he might go sooner rather than later. Tonight he had immense trouble breathing, my sister said, so they brought him to the Clinic again. He stopped breathing there.

He had been ill for a long time. Diday, the kids, and I visited Manila last December, and stayed there a month, mainly to be with him and Mama. He was asleep, or drowsy, and weak for most of the time we were there. It was then that I decided that we — Diday, the kids, and I — should relocate to Manila to spend whatever time he (and Mama) had left with them. So on our return to Darwin, we started planning and organising for our relocation. We had planned to return to Manila on 4th April, but postponed that because Diday needed medical treatment (which we learned about after we had organised our schedule and booked the flights, etc.). I’ll be coming home earlier than planned to bury him, and to console Mama, and to be with my sisters and our larger family, and our friends. I can’t stay too long this time but we will still relocate to Manila, even with Papa gone; Mama’s there and will need us more than ever.

I didn’t really say goodbye to Papa last January as if it were the very last time I’d say goodbye. I said we’d be back in a few months. Never liked goodbyes. I don’t think he liked goodbyes either. I would’ve wanted to be there when he went, but I wasn’t. I’ll be there when we bury him, but I still won’t say goodbye like its the last time I’d say goodbye. Its not that I believe we’ll meet face to face again somewhere; its just that he will be with me always in my heart, so no sense really in saying goodbye.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006 at 9:50 pm and is filed under Personal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.